


a place (for the broken) in the light

by ComposerEgg



Series: i've forgotten how to see, i've forgotten if i can. if i open up my eyes, there'll be no more going back [3]
Category: FanganAcademy Discord Roleplay
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fangan Ronpa: Fangan Academy, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24366862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComposerEgg/pseuds/ComposerEgg
Summary: You wake up.The Void once claimed your soul, but your friends fought and claimed youmore, and so you wake up.You are healing from the wounds that burned your soul. Luckily, you don't have to heal alone.
Relationships: Chun Meilin | Merlin Chun & Sasaki Rin (Fangan Academy), Gotake Gakuto & Sasaki Rin (Fangan Academy), Ono Junpei & Sasaki Rin (Fangan Academy), Oshiro Honoka & Sasaki Rin (Fangan Academy)
Series: i've forgotten how to see, i've forgotten if i can. if i open up my eyes, there'll be no more going back [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723066
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: Crossover Collection Party





	1. i (continue)

You wake up.

The Void once claimed your soul, but your friends fought and claimed you _more_ , and so you wake up.

You wake up and you are not nothing and you are not _alone_.

'Lin's right hand still envelops your left, scrunched as he is between you and the wall, still asleep. 'Noka is pressed against your other side, arm draped over your chest. And 'Pei, previously sprawled atop you all, has just moved to sit up.

No doubt the motion is the reason you woke up.

He turns his head to look at you, and says, "Apologies, my dear Rin. I did not mean to wake you, but I fear my need for food has made itself known." As if to punctuate his point, his stomach growls.

It gets a weak chuckle from you, and you'd wave him off if you could. But both hands are trapped, and you doubt you'd have the strength. So instead, you muster up all your willpower to move your mouth, and croak out, "Bring some back for everyone, yeah?"

He nods, and smiles, tentative. Sunlight peeking over the horizon.

But he doesn't leave. Doesn't look away. Standing halfway to the door, not yet gone, gaze fixed on you. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. (Lucky you, because your brain isn't back to full operation yet.)

"I'll still be here when you get back, I promise." You match his smile with your own, though the effort spent is much more. "Might fall back asleep, but 'Lin's got me so wound up in his web that I'm basically still cocooned. Void can't steal me back even if it wanted to."

He nods, and the words seem to help him relax. "I will see you when I return, Deuce."

The nickname warms you, sparks of familiarity burn in your Void-chilled veins. Another reminder of the bonds that bind you to reality. A hand to grasp, that holds you steady.

It's not long until you find yourself drifting into sleep again, comforted by the hearth of your friends.

They would never lose you twice.

* * *

You wake up.

This time you do not find yourself between three people in various states of sleep and hunger. Instead, voices chatter away around you. One sits by you in bed. Two from elsewhere in the room--your cabin. Chairs? The couch?

 _You don't Know_.

There's a hand in your hair and another on your back holding you and you don't _Know_ who it is and panic is seeping into your lungs--

Except of course you know.

'Lin still has you.

"You just compelled me out of a panic attack," you murmur, burying your face against his chest. "Even though you shouldn't be using your magic _either_ , 'Lin."

He laughs, but doesn't deny it--can't deny it. **Truth** is still burned into his web, a fixed point in your myriad world of unknowns. Tangled together with your own magic, the one person you can still _read_ like this. "In my defense, right now weaving with you isn't that difficult. And, and, pretty sure if I hadn't, your panic attack would've been contagious for at least one of us here."

Senses trickle back. You hear Honoka-- _'Noka_ from elsewhere, say, "I'd have been fine, don't worry! I'm rested enough for moderate emotional control, wasn't as drained as either of you." There's a pause, and then, softer, "Junpei is on the couch, and I'm on your desk chair, by the way. Althea has stopped by and run medical checks. Ashe has also visited while you were out. A lot of people have, they care about you and are glad you're back."

Which, okay, that's a lot to take in, but you are literally incapable of not feeling calm right now. So instead, you ask, "'Lin, is she lying?"

What you get in response is a resounding _no_. He says as much out loud, and you taste the truth to that. Gifts and get-well cards flash in your mind, and if you had the energy to act dramatic about _that_ , you would. But as it is, you're still. So. _Tired_.

"I know you're tired, Rin, but do you think you can stay awake long enough for some food and water?"

You groan at 'Lin's question, but you _are_ hungry. Famished. You haven't eaten in--

In…

"How long has it been? How long since I lost consciousness?" You lift your head, twisting to look out at the others.

It's 'Pei who answers, small frown on his face--blurry, because the one time your glasses are broken would be the time you _need them_. "It's been six months, five days, two hours, and fourteen minutes since the confrontation. You've been back for thirty-three hours and twenty-eight minutes. Twelve since you last woke up."

Six months. Six months of being Nothing. _Six months of your soul being Void_.

With a mental nudge, you get 'Lin to help you settle, back propped up against the pillows with a blanket tossed over your body. Arms, with Void-torn wounds patched by spiderweb, free.

"I can eat. Should eat." _Help?_

 _'Course_. 'Lin smiles, still tired and worn but More than you, Presence stronger. Able to move without assistance. Able to offer you help.

~~The Void still echoes in your mind, decaying your bonds. It would be wrong to call it a hunger for you, wrong to assign motives to something so WithOut. But what once was claimed should not so easily escape. The siren song beckons you to Fall, to UnBecome.~~

(Merlin rests at your side, after you’re done eating. Hands intertwined, your head against his arm. He’s safe. Warm. You can Hear the echoes of your magic ringing in his webs, the webs still binding you both tight. You’re safe. You’re safe. _You’re safe_.)

The siren at your side sings louder.


	2. will (my heart) begin to mend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your cabin is silent, save for the turning of pages. Book in hand, tucked into the corner of your bed.
> 
> Empty, save for Gakuto's presence.
> 
> Vulnerability is not something easily shared, but you're learning how to let yourself mend. It involves letting others in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to _let's write smth soft and sappy because I am soft and sappy hrs_ yall.  
> I have so much care in my me

Your cabin is silent, save for the turning of pages. Book in hand, tucked into the corner of your bed.

Empty, save for Gakuto's presence. You're not sure your own presence fills the room enough to claim the space in the way others do. Not yet. But that's okay, because your friends have set up a rotating cast to occupy the space you're meant to hold until you can.

You haven't been alone in over a week. Which. Is good. The Void can't take you if your anchors stay nearby, hold you to Reality in the way you _can't_ yet.

But.

'Lin and 'Noka and 'Pei can't be there all the time, and while Gakuto is nice. You haven't gotten as close to him as you _could_. Not yet.

(Distrust has always run deep in your veins. Refusing to let others _in_ means protecting yourself from harm. Keeping yourself safe.

 _Vulnerability_ is not something easily shared. A friend, sure, you've spent casual time with him while the others were around. You trust 'Lin's judgment of him, trust your own judgment of him. But opening up means weakness, means dragging him through the sad, sorry tale of your life. Means risking rejection, even if you know it's unlikely.

Right now there's no buffer. No false image of strength, as you lay in bed, frail little thing.)

"Uh, Rin? Is something up? You're kinda staring at me?" Oh, he's looked up from his phone, spotted you and your abandoned book.

The Void lingers. Beneath your skin, empty aching, the decay of bone and loss of blood, hollowed chest of weightlessness. Remnants of being naught but dust coat the underside of your skin, pins and needles of static just waiting to overwhelm and take you again.

You shouldn't be so afraid to _ask_.

The question, really, is simple: Do you trust him?

A hundred moments float in your head. The first time you met, because of 'Lin, stiff and formal and on guard because you didn't know the answer then. Didn't know if you could trust him not to hurt your friend.

Meals with the rest of the friend group together. Silly jokes told with one another. Pranking 'Lin and him with the ability to purr.

Careful concern, never pushing boundaries or overstepping. Gentle, soft. Not just now, voidsick as you are, but always. Mindful not to hurt, not to touch when you haven't said he could, topics and skin both.

"Should I get Mei? Cuz you're not responding, and I don't know if you're okay?" He's starting to get anxious, and really, was there ever a doubt to how you'd answer the question?

"I-- Can you come here? Understimulated right now. Feel like 'm gonna evaporate." You know, you _know_ the shock on his face is because this is the first time you've asked, but the silence is getting to you, in those seconds he takes to process. "Sorry, 's dumb. You don't-- don't need to, I promise. Not going to actually do a shitty fade-out transition. But not being alone helps. And I trust you."

The scar against your heart from years past won't mend unless you let yourself take that first, unsteady step. Each time, reaching out a hand to the other person, an offer of balance. He deserves the chance to bridge the gap.

"Oh, um, sure?" he says, once he's managed to get over the surprise you've sprung on him. "What do you want me to do, I guess?"

"Just. Come here. Lay down so I can lay on you." They gesture at the amount of bed there is, and wait.

He obliges, moving the blankets around to get under them, as you scoot closer and lay on his chest.

Arms settle around you, solid and warm as you curl up against him. Weighing you down. Grounded, instead of floating away into Nothingness once more.

Tension seeps from you as a hand cards through your hair. _Pain_ blurs at the edges, softening its grip on you as he holds you tight. He's _good_ at this. Maybe because he's gotten the chance to see how you let others comfort you, but either way, you're glad.

"Thanks," you mumble, face buried against his chest.

"Hey, 'course. You're my friend, yeah? I want to be able to help you, when you need it. Nothing dumb about that, and definitely nothing you need to apologize for." You can feel the smile in his voice, despite not looking up to see. Despite not having Truth there to feed you the knowledge.

You never used to cry so freely. This change is not something the Void has wrought. Rather, the haven of hands that hold have helped you down this healing road.

Another apology isn't going to pass your lips, not for this. Not for the tearstains you leave on his shirt, hand buried in the fabric.

"I-- I know. I'm not. The nicest. I'm not good at letting people get close to me, and I'm too abrasive. But. I'm _trying_. And you're… you're good, and kind. You're worth the effort of trying, 'Take. 'M glad you're here." You don’t bother to look up at him, inhaling the citrus scent clinging to him almost as much as you, in this moment.

You know ~~you so desperately hope~~ that he understands the weight of a nickname. Not just trust in them, understanding of them, a statement of _safety_ , but an acknowledgement. Recognition that they understand _you_.

Judging by the poorly concealed sniffle, you figure it’s safe to say he does.

“Aw, Rin, you’re gonna make _me_ cry,” he chuckles, good-natured. Hints of tears in his voice making his statement ring true. “Thanks, though,” ‘Take says, soft. “That… Really means a lot to me. It’s an honor to be your friend, I mean it.”

“Well, you mean a lot to me, so… Back at ya, ‘Take.”

You nuzzle your head against him a bit more, breathing deeply. The pressure of his hands resting on your back, in your hair, heavy blanket draped over you both to trap the hearth-warmth.

Eyes closed, you know you could rest here, secure, sheltered from the rest of the world. Shielded from the tug of Void at your soul.

(And when ‘Lin walks in, hours later, to find ‘Take asleep with you passed out on his chest, well. There’s some photographic evidence that gets shared with the others.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had fun writing this, kudos/comments etc appreciated!
> 
> 💜💜💜

**Author's Note:**

> [dabs] WELCOME TO A MULTICHAP FIC FRIENDS!!!!!
> 
> listen this is just gonna be post dark eternity me tossing shit at a gdoc this is how it do BE cuz I want hurt/comfort recovery fics and nobody can stop me (in fact, I have several nerds encouraging me)


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